Hey Dude, The Flood's Over

Among the myriad ways the New York Times is out of touch with 99.99% of the population, few stand out as prominently as the pronouncements of their style gurus.

Today, for instance, we learn that

Anywhere a man shops — fashion houses like Gucci, Prada and Yves Saint Laurent; the English-y prep confines of Polo Ralph Lauren and Paul Stuart; traditional Italian luxury houses like Brioni and Kiton; old-school American clothiers like Brooks Brothers and Hickey Freeman; and trendy young lines like Rag & Bone and Trovata — the most popular suit is an elongated and trimmed-down silhouette that is sending other shapes packing (and don’t forget the mothballs).

With slight deviations to reflect taste, the specs of the contemporary man’s suit are as follows: a two-button closure; narrow lapels in a high-notch or peak style; high armholes; narrowly set and thinly padded shoulders; low-waist, slim-cut pants with hems that never quite touch the top of the shoes, daring to bare (just as women first did a century ago) a bit of sock or skin.

The article then goes on to quote some 41 year old screenwriter (because everyone knows screenwriters frequently wear suits) who (and again, you can't make this shit up) likes the suits because:

you can rock sneakers with it, which is what I did for my wedding.

First off, no 41 year old should ever say "rock" when he means "wear" - you haven't been in high school for 23 years, "dawg." (Another word you know said screenwriter uses.) And since when do we care for the fashion opinion of a guy who wears sneakers with a suit to his own wedding. Just to prove how alternative he is.

But let's have another look at the last bit in that first quote "hems that never quite touch the top of the shoes."

In my world, we call those "high-waters" and you mock people for wearing them. So somehow I don't see the great mass of American men shortening their pants to "show a little sock" or even throwing out their 3-button suits to get 2-button ones. As it is, the majority of lawyers and investment bankers I see in my upscale NYC burb haven't given up on pleats yet. And as for the "tight-fitting" part? In case our Timesmen hadn't noticed, jobs that require daily suit-wearing are generally incompatible with high levels of fitness.

Yup.